“If you’re going to be a bear, be a grizzly.” This saying is one of my earliest learnings on how to be successful. It was during my early years at United Supermarkets of Oklahoma, where I spent the first 27 years of my career.
I went from being a produce manager to assistant manager and then store manager before becoming director of IT systems and then head buyer. Along the way, I got to work for some of the finest people on this planet.
After graduating high school in Arapaho, Oklahoma (class of 1977), I enrolled at SWOSU in Weatherford planning to get a degree in business management. Since my first job in a grocery store at age 12, I wanted to be a store manager.
I found out that one didn’t need a degree at United for that role, so I accepted a full-time job at the store in Weatherford. My new goal was to be a store manager by the time my class graduated from college. I made store manager in October 1981 and my class graduated in May of that year.
I remember some of the giants of those early days – Perry Snell, Jimmy Carder, Ken Gracey, Bob Phillips, Jim Walls, Delbert Mosley, Jerry Looper, Wade Ridley, Byron Ford, Keith Kirby, Pat Blevins, Bryce Wiginton and Jim Crossland, to name a few. But what I remember most about all of them are their sayings, teachings and high character.
We didn’t have any formal leadership training in those days; it was all on-the-job learning. Day by day, we were groomed for what today we’d call succession planning.
Each generation of leadership would build into the lives of the younger group who would someday take their place. And build into our lives they did – one leadership nugget at a time. This is true intentional legacy building.
There is no way that I can do justice to my 27-year career at United Supermarkets of Oklahoma by hitting the highlights, but there are a few that I’d like to share.
In my early years with the company, Jimmy Carder had the biggest influence on me. He knew that I’d grown up without a dad active in my life, and he took it upon himself to try to mold me into a good businessman. He was “firm but fair.” This was one of my favorite learnings from him.
He also taught me (and many others) about “Message to Garcia,” which was a simple story about just doing your job. To be the guy that takes the message and delivers it, no questions asked.
In those days, our dress code was white shirts and ties. Jimmy was very strict on this part. His nickname to his peer group was “Sporty” because he had all his white long-sleeve dress shirts custom made, and he didn’t mind spending money on his ties. This was my first introduction to “dress for success.”
Delbert Mosley was the former Altus district manager and retired as the store manager of the Elk City store. He was a true celebrity in the Elk City area.
One of my earliest memories of him was when I was converting his store from non-scanning to scanning. Anytime we’d go to the bank or to lunch, it was impossible for me to have a conversation with him because of all the town people who would come up to talk.
He had the most contagious laugh and was always positive. His example taught me that the secret to success is people and how we treat them.
My favorite saying of his was “potential is a heavy burden to bear.” He also taught me that “confidence is very fragile,” saying you could spend years getting it and lose it nearly overnight.
In the business, there are a lot of “gotchas” that we all learned to pull on each other. For example, anytime a new team member came onboard, one of their first tasks was to mop the freezer floor. We’d all have a good laugh with that one.
Perry Snell, CEO and son of founders H.D. and Faye Snell, got me one time with Pat Blevins, who was the manager of the Enid West store. Snell visited my store in Weatherford once when we had a gigantic Charmin display in the front lobby.
Pricing was very important to him, so he told me to call Blevins and ask him what they were getting on Charmin in Enid. So of course, being a young “grizzly” and nervous about the owner questioning our pricing, I practically ran to the phone.
“Hey Pat, Perry is here and wanted me to call you and see what you were getting on Charmin.”
He busted out laughing and replied, “Black, we’re getting the same thing here as everyone gets ‘on’ Charmin.” Snell had a sense of humor for sure.
Ken Gracey was one of the finest men I’ve ever known. Not once did I ever see him emotionally out of control. He was a gentle giant in the business.
Family was everything to him. His dad, brothers and children all worked for the company, and he was proud of every one of them. An avid Oklahoma Sooners fan, he was especially proud of his two children. And, of course, his wife, Joan, was the light of his life. They made the sweetest couple, and we immensely enjoyed our many business trips with them.
His legacy teaching to me was that as leaders we “should always be the calm voice in the room.” He also had a great sense of humor. One of leadership’s top five qualities for successful leaders.
Jim Walls, our meat manager at Weatherford, taught me all about gross profit and how to be financially successful in the business. He understood cross -merchandising to a ‘T’ and grew the business and made money at the same time. He passed away a few years ago, and I’ll forever be grateful for the investment he made in me.
Keith Kirby was Snell’s right-hand man. We didn’t have an executive team, per se, but if we would have had one, he would have been the CFO. Kirby’s integrity was second to none. He taught me that even if it cost us profit, we should always do the right thing.
Snell knew that Kirby’s integrity was critical for the role he had in the company. And he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, he could trust him. Again, from a leadership perspective, integrity and trust are two of the top five qualities necessary for success.
Bob Phillips was one of the best pure operators I’ve known. He was the district manager for the Woodward, Oklahoma, group. His stores had the best conditions and produced the most consistent numbers than any other group in the chain.
What I learned from him is that we must take care of the business. He knew details that most others didn’t know and was highly respected by his store managers and the community.
Every single one of these men left their legacy as a part of me. Sadly, most of them are no longer with us physically. But make no mistake, they are still with me and several others on whom they made an impact.
It is now my generation’s responsibility to build into the lives of the next generation of leaders with high standards, ethics and teachings.
When I was a 21-year-old store manager in 1981, I must admit I tended to be a boss. Through the years and with many mentors building into my life, I do believe I became a leader over time. 
It wasn’t an easy journey, and I’ve probably learned more from the bad bosses than the good ones. But one thing I do know – I’ll pick being a leader over a boss 100 percent of the time.
Becoming a leader involves paying it forward to those who are looking to you for wisdom and guidance. I have no doubt that several of my teachings are not originals, but they are valuable nuggets from those who have been influential leaders in my life. Never stop growing/teaching/coaching.
In the vein of this leadership article, I’d like to challenge each of you to contact the giants in your career path and just let them know how much they’ve meant to you and the impact they’ve had on your life. I wish I could do this with each one mentioned here.
So, as you go through your career and build your own legacy, remember this – if you’re going to be a bear, be a grizzly.
Be afraid of nothing, be confident, aggressive and – most importantly – give it all you got, every day.
Steve Black is CEO and founder of abrighterday.life, a business and leadership coaching organization devoted to helping people and companies with personal growth and implementing simple leadership principles. A 47-year-veteran of the retail grocery arena, Black is the author of “The 5 Rules” and offers an online Masterclass.