Thanksgiving is a season of gratitude, reflection and intentional recognition of the people who have shaped our lives. As families gather around tables filled with food and laughter, we pause to remember not just for what – but whom – we are thankful.
This year, my heart turns to one man whose life embodies leadership, humility, resilience and love – my uncle, Charles Douglas Seigrist.
Highlighted in the second chapter of my book “The 5 Rules” as my kindness mentor, he recently passed away at home in Georgia with family by his side.
This article is a dedication to his legacy and a reminder of the values we should carry forward. His life is a testament to the fact that true leadership is not about titles or positions but about kindness, perseverance and the courage to serve others.
In a message I shared during the memorial service at the National Cemetery in Geogia, I focused on sharing with the family that we are the legs to his legacy.
I’m honored to share it in The Shelby Report this Thanksgiving season and will always be grateful to carry his middle name, Douglas.
Humble beginnings, unshakable resilience
Uncle Charles, the youngest of five children, was raised by his single mother and youngest sister, my mother. The odds of “success” as society defines it were stacked against him. Growing up during a time when resources were scarce, he often joked about eating onion and mustard sandwiches. Yet he never once carried bitterness about those circumstances.
Instead, he and his siblings reframed their situation with wisdom that has guided our family for generations: “We weren’t poor; we just didn’t have any money.”
That statement reveals the mindset of gratitude and resilience that Uncle Charles carried into every chapter of his life. He knew hardship but chose not to be defined by it.
Instead, he saw opportunity where others saw limitation, embodying the very spirit of Thanksgiving – finding abundance amid scarcity.
Distinguished career of service
While many may first remember him as a decorated lieutenant colonel in the U.S. Army, his leadership began long before the military pinned rank to his shoulders. Uncle Charles learned early on that leadership wasn’t about command; it was about responsibility.
His philosophy was simple: “The single thing that keeps most people from success is opportunity … so take advantage of every opportunity presented or made … and always be the leader who gave someone else an opportunity.”
This perspective didn’t just drive his personal advancement; it defined his interactions with others. Leadership for him was not about climbing ladders; it was about building ladders for others to climb. He modeled servant leadership decades before the term became fashionable.
Love as leadership – bond with Aunt Carol
Behind every strong leader is often a partner who provides grounding, encouragement and unwavering support. For Uncle Charles, that person has always been my Aunt Carol.
Together, they raised three daughters who not only love their parents deeply but also embody the family-first values instilled in them.
He once said, “We are not Charles or Carol. We are Charles and Carol … one word … one entity. Today, she is my lifelong friend and companion and the love of my life. She was and still is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I am lucky she is as beautiful inside as she is outside.”
Marriage, like leadership, requires daily acts of humility, forgiveness and commitment. Charles and Carol learned together, made mistakes together and built a legacy.
His lighthearted declaration – “Divorce was never in our discussion … murder maybe but not divorce (just kidding)” – is not just a quip; it reflects a deeper truth about perseverance in relationships. They had just recently celebrated 61 years together.
Kindness as rule for living
Among the many lessons he has shared, one stands out as a Thanksgiving-worthy principle: “If you can’t be kind to your family, nothing else really matters.”
Leadership in the workplace, the community or the military means little if it does not extend to the dinner table and the living room.
Kindness was not a side note in Uncle Charles’ life; it was the main theme. It shaped how he raised his daughters, how he mentored his grandchildren and how he showed up at family reunions.
At one such reunion many years ago in Weatherford, Oklahoma, he reminded us all: “Each of you is going to spend the majority of your life working. At the end of that work life, when this old world has gotten everything out of you that it can, you will be discarded, thrown away. All you’ll have left is family. Make sure you are kind to them along the way.”
This wisdom deserves to be repeated often, especially at Thanksgiving. Success fades. Titles pass. Wealth disappears. But kindness toward family leaves a legacy that endures.
Faith, mentorship, lifelong learning
Even after a distinguished military career, Uncle Charles never stopped growing. Retirement wasn’t a withdrawal from leadership but a redirection of it.
He pursued four years of study in a program called Education for Ministry at the University of the South, cultivating his spirituality and deepening his personal ministry.
He also embraced the role of grandfather as one of life’s greatest privileges. “Being a grandfather is the best time of life … it carries with it a huge responsibility to live up to all the things you’ve taught your children. To continue to be the one who sets the standard and be the example.”
This vision of grandparenthood is rare in a world where older generations sometimes retreat into comfort. Uncle Charles stepped into the responsibility with intentionality, mentoring his grandchildren not by words alone but by consistent example.
As we honor Uncle Charles during this Thanksgiving season, several leadership principles rise to the surface. These lessons transcend the military, family or church; they apply to every leader seeking to leave a legacy of impact.
Thanksgiving legacy
When I think of Thanksgiving, I think not only of turkey, pumpkin pie and gratitude lists but of lives like Uncle Charles’s – lives that remind us what really matters. His story is proof that leadership is not about where we start but about how we live, love and serve.
This Thanksgiving, as we gather with family, let us carry forward his example. Let us be leaders who measure success by kindness, who cherish family above achievement and who find abundance even in the leanest seasons.
Uncle Charles once told me: “Be so intentional every day about being kind to them, so much so that when they think of you, ‘kindness’ is their first thought.”
May that be the legacy we all strive for.
Final thoughts
The life of Charles Douglas Seigrist is not just a personal memory for me; it is a leadership manual for anyone willing to listen. His story is woven with resilience, faith, humor, love and an unrelenting commitment to family.
This Thanksgiving, I dedicate these reflections to him – not only to honor his life and legacy but also to encourage all of us to lead with gratitude, humility and kindness.
Because in the end, when the work is done and the titles fade, what remains is simple – the family who remembers us and the kindness that defined us.
My final comments at the memorial service were sharing five T’s for how we can move through this time of mourning – tears, touch, time, truth and talk. I encouraged everyone to use “my” in front of whatever we called him when we share stories and fond memories of him. He was my Uncle Charlie, my friend, mentor and hero.
Take a moment to be thankful for the people who were/are a blessing in our lives. Then go and be a blessing to others who can then say they are thankful for us. Happy Thanksgiving!
Steve Black is CEO and founder of abrighterday.life, a business and leadership coaching organization devoted to helping people and companies with personal growth and implementing simple leadership principles. A 47-year-veteran of the retail grocery arena, Black is the author of “The 5 Rules” and offers an online Masterclass.
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